Inka

So, friends are hard to come by and I have to share a special story for me. Two Christmases ago a Mom I had met through my Moms group was at a playdate and she took me aside as I was packing Austin up. She gave me a small gift wrapped up and inside was a book for Austin called "Stinky Face." It is about a little boy who pretends to be many horrible, smelly, unacceptable things and asks how his mom would handle them...and his mom tells him with each one how she would brush his nasty teeth, or sing until his one eye closed (when he was a cyclops), or blow kisses across the swamp and tell him she loves him. It was a surprise to be given a gift, to be chosen out of the crowd it felt like and given a door to friendship. And being new and trying to find friends it meant so much.

Now fast forward to my friend being 9 months pregnant, and her father passes away. Several weeks later I had the honor of hosting her mother blessing where her family and friends gave her and her baby beautiful blessings and hopes for the future amidst her 2 1/2 yo daughter floating like a butterfly welcoming everyone in. And again 3 months later she hosted my blessing with subtle touches and intuition that blow me away...she gifted me an actual blessing basket and a long necklace with a small world on it, to symbolize that though Pete wasn't able to be there physically, his spirit was there. I wept.

So, fast forward to recently and she had asked me for some thoughts on a wrap to add to her collection. I gave it some serious thought and told her what I saw. She is the one who taught me how to wrap a baby to nurse hands free, which is how I wrapped Gabe for the first many weeks. And now he still lives in a wrap on my tummy in a different position. So she asks to stop by sometime later to say Hi and I'm excited to see her. She walks in with a twinkle in her eye and a bag overflowing with something wrapped in tissue. In the bag is Inka, a german made wrap long enough for me to do anything I ever need to with it, beautiful as a sunset over the water as night takes over the sky, sturdy and wide enough to carry my boy...so I cried...who gave this friend to me? How often do we feel cared about and read by another person?

I don't know that I can ever put on paper what my wrap means to me. How the freedom to carry my son has given me the freedom to let the days blend together, has let our family find the rhythm of being 4...given me the ability to mother both of my sons rather than feel like I'm sacrificing one temporarily for another. I won't know what it's like to not have my wrap, but I do know that in my wrap Gabe tucks his little head in and just closes his eyes...amidst bike rides and naptimes, frustrated explosions and story times...trampoline bouncing, play-doh masterpiece roads, salt flung everywhere, dogs barking...he sleeps soundly next to my heart, not far from whatever he may need. For me it's perfection.

So, this is a gift from my friend. Mom always said people come and go in your life as you need them. We aren't blessed with these friends very often. And I'm reminded of her kindness and thoughtfulness everyday, right on my tummy.

Uncle Ford and Haley

One afternoon, Haley snuggled in with Uncle Ford and they talked and talked while watching some Disney...it was really sweet.

Knee-high...to an Uncle Jus

Well, maybe waist-high. Jus and Tori brought a camo sweatshirt for Austin to sport this fall and winter, much to Pete's glee :) Here's a "generation" shot for the picture books.

Thanksgiving!

So this year for Thanksgiving we were joined by Jus and his family and Mom's brothers Ford and Wade, and Ford's wife Aunt Barb. What fun! Though it was disappointing to leave early for kid-bedtime, and to be hit with a round of sick ick for Austin, it was so good to see everyone and be together. Haley had her bike in the back of the truck and decided, after seeing Austin ride his balance bike with no training wheels, that she just couldn't stand for that and promptly had Nana remove her training wheels too! She became a biking superstar overnight (she's 6) and Nana and Haley would go for 4 mile long rides and come back wanting more :) This shot I got of Jus, Gabe and Haley one night on the living room floor.

Safari Gabe

So, who doesn't like to put stuff in the jeep and go? We take motorcycles across the grass, carry sticks and cars around in the back, and clean the windshield with butt ends of just-eaten carrots from the garden...but much to his chagrin Austin himself does not fit...people are just too big for this jeep...until we had Gabe...he he...after one particularly disappointing round discovering Austin STILL does not fit in the jeep, even if we contort him certain ways, I had the idea to send Gabe on safari, if only for a moment :)

A full lap

Happy face :) A lap big enough for two. It's been difficult at times to transition my baby being Austin and being so in sync with him and able to meet his needs and work with him during his frustrations to working towards his becoming a big brother, which means his needs are oftentimes delayed...finding balance of becoming in sync with Gabe while trying to make sure Austin still feels important and valued...

Oh, Austin is home now...attention diverted...this post has taken me 20 minutes to try and remember what I was talking about and now there is a woozle in his drink and it's the end of the world...he he...for those winnie the pooh fans...gotta laugh...what else am I gonna do....apparently go woozle fishing in his drink... :)

In which I am the statue of liberty

Not much explanation needed :) Just trying to make good on my promise to get some shots of me in! Most days I start out great...earrings in, teeth brushed, maybe even my hair combed...lol...and by the end of the day it's fabric everywhere, white spots all over my shoulders, play-doh on my jeans, socks wet from stepping in muddy spots the dogs brought in...a little less than photo-ready...hehe...

Fall fun

So the leaf piles at Nana and Papa's house are the best...ours have dog poop in them (gross!)...so to Nana and Papa's we go. Austin has a balance bike that he's getting really good on, so the top shot is him up to his handlebars in leaves. Pete picks him up and throws him in, then scoops all the leaves back into a big pile.



And on the same day, Gabe wearing his little vampire socks with Papa and Uncle Jon.

Dinner with the boys

Nana and Papa came over for dinner one evening when Gabe is about 1 1/2 mo old. It's so amazing having the support network of Mom and Dad close by. Mom will come over and I get a chance to wash up the dishes and sweep the floor, previously taken-for-granted tasks. Dad took Austin out last week for their first "date" and while I got a moment to gush on Gabe, Austin was getting his tank filled with some one on one with Papa. Dad said he had his hand on his knee the whole time and would periodically lean over for a snuggle on his arm. :) proud mama.

I've been thinking recently that when we have kids we have hopes and goals for them, and how often it seems like they develop their own hopes and goals about who they want to become. But maybe they don't have to be mutually exclusive. My hope in raising my sons is that I can give them the tools to work with who they are, to show them how to find contentment and peace in life, and to grow compassionate and kind men. I couldn't care less if they become the next president.

It's fun too to watch things unfold. When kids are so tiny you just work with day to day and what is and wait for their little being to emerge...to find out what they like, who they are, etc. Watching Austin cracks me up and makes me smile. He's SUCH a host. He'll invite people in, show them where their food is, make sure everyone has food to eat and offer drinks. He'll even give you some of his favorites (a chunk of brownie that's almost his last or a piece of his bread with butter and jam) just for the pleasure of sharing with you. He's concerned when Gabe is upset and crying and makes sure I pick him up. He patiently waits for Gabe to calm down in the evening after the lights have turned out. Lately he's been able to pee on his own standing up and learned the all-important task of shaking. So, I'll be around the corner and hear quiet from the bathroom and then a tiny, high-pitched voice say to himself, as if a reminder, "ake, ake, ake" and then purposefully pull his pants up...the same pants he's been wearing now for a week...hehe.

I was thinking as I was opening the few Christmas cards this year how fun it is to see a picture of the whole family, not just the kids, since often I'm friends with the parents. So I do resolve to try and get more shots with Pete and I in them. However, our world revolves around our growing boys right now so that tends to be the stories I'll tell.

Off to dig for more pics...

My sweet peace

Okay, I have a moment. I'm digging through all the pictures I've taken over the past couple of months on my phone and will try to get some up. Here is a moment of peace.

Superman!

Why can I not find more time to write funny stories!! Having 2 kids is sure busy...so in the interest of preventing meltdowns, I'll at least share a funny picture :) This is Austin's first (that he'll remember) Halloween.