grrr...computers....

I have a CD of Dad's pictures from the blessing tantalizing me and I can't figure out the 9 step process to get my CD thingy on my computer open...one of those "it's stuck but if you push this button and hold down here while tapping this it will open" things. Bah...

Going to the fountains

Austin and Katie and I went to an outdoor mall yesterday that has a little play area and fountains the kids can play in. Austin wasn't quite ready to dive in, but he did a lot of watching and soaking in.

Later he found a friend by the wishing well fountain. It was funny to see the girls flock in to check out his cars...he he...

Snuggled in...

While Katie was here, we found the extension for the Ergo, the baby backpack Austin lived in for about a year, and it fits around my belly again! Austin knew exactly what to do and was so happy...for about 5 minutes...then he wanted to get down and play with cars and dirt again ;)

Perfection...

Oh my heart caught in my throat when I saw this picture. Our incredible boy wrapped tight in my arms, my bare belly growing our beautiful baby, and the belly ball to symbolize Pete and our connection all smooshed between us. This is it...

The serious business of eating ice cream.

While at the Air Show, Papa surprised Austin with his very own Dove Bar (which he informed Nana about 29 times, "Nana! Aaa have i-keeem!" The looks on his face crack me up...such focus... :)

A Mother Blessing

This past Friday was our Mother Blessing. I cannot express how meaningful and beautiful this was for me. For those of you unfamiliar with the idea, it's a way of celebrating new life, of blessing the mother and her baby as they make the transition from mother and baby as one, to mother and baby as two. Mom, Dad, Katie, Jonny, Lisa, and many friends were there to celebrate.

I was gifted with the belly ball necklace just before the blessing started and was told that although Pete was not able to be here, he was with me, and with the baby, in spirit...




We enjoyed delicious food. We lit candles representing the time during labor and birth (even though Austin kept trying to blow them out hehe)
Each person in the circle shared with me a unique and special bead and blessing.



I'll string all the beads onto a necklace to wear during labor and birth to remind me of the blessing, of the strength and encouragement that each bead represents.








We bound our wrists together with cord and then each person was cut free and will wear them & think happy thoughts until I am in labor or have had our baby, then untie them!
























Sara decorated the baby belly with henna in a design I'd dreamed about...a combination of a willow tree, so supple and strong, and a crashing wave...a visualization often referred to by women in labor during the surges (contractions).















Austin also got to have his tummy painted with Uncle Jon while Sara worked on my design...he he...






































Later in the evening we did the ring test, an old wives tale that requires your wedding band on a strand of hair. The strand is held motionless over the belly and you wait. If the ring moves side to side they predict boy. If the ring moves in a circle, girl. I was under the impression that it wouldn't move if I don't...but somehow, slowly but surely it gained momentum, until it was swinging spectacularly in a wide circle...we shall see!




It was so beautiful and magical. I felt so connected, so grounded, so celebrated with our baby.

Dad spent some time taking photos too, so I'll add those once I've seen them!

Air Show!

We went with Mom, Dad, and Gee to the air show yesterday and hooray for ear muffs! It was great...Austin was exhausted since it took us 2 hrs to drive 2 mi to park, but he was so sweet and had such a great time checking out the plane...but the best part was watching Dad...he was 10 again, like a kid in a candy store :)

Jet Plane!

Mom might be the only one who thinks this is hilarious, but we got some great laughs on our long road trip when we looked over and Austin announced he'd turned his gooey shark into a shark jet plane...which we then forgot at a gas station after spending 15 minutes looking at the expensive model cars they had on display ::shrug::

Berry picking

Austin and I go down to the church a block away and pick blackberries off a bush they have growing like a weed in a far corner. It's awesome. He loves it and they're delicious! And, what you don't see in the picture is that awesome purple undershirt I have on? Yeah, that's the undershirt holding up my MATERNITY pants that no longer even zip...he he...oh for giant robes or moomoos to be in style ;)

A serious post.

So, I figured I'd actually include some us stuff too :) We've been furiously nesting and Mom and Dad are amazing. The upstairs was remodeled from nasty shag carpet that was making us sick, to plywood floors I was just going to paint, and then to a beautiful oak wood floor that Dad installed while we were in Louisiana busting his butt with every spare moment, and some help from Jonny, and when we came home Dad and Mom rocked out finished trim and caulking and nail holes, and and and...I promise to post pictures once Pete sees it, but it's going to be a visual surprise so not yet!

Katie is coming up for a week tomorrow and I'm looking forward to seeing her as is Austin. Hoping too to use the help too to put some casseroles and soups in the freezer for later, tie up the last loose ends prepping, etc.

Pete's down to his last 3 weeks in Alaska, and also in the short-staffed, cold, wet, busy time of the year. I don't get to talk with him near enough...maybe none to 15 minutes each day with the occasional 30 minute conversation. I laughed telling Pete that other couples have to adjust to less time with each other once a new baby arrives and that won't be our situation. :) We have a chain on the bathroom door we take off one link each night after bath and Austin has been talking up a storm about when Daddy comes home.

Some friends are putting together a Mother Blessing for us this Friday that I'm so looking forward to, and being so near birthing time it's also surfacing some emotions I hadn't expected. Up until this week I've been under the "baby is NOT being born until Pete is safe at home and with us" camp. I've been preparing an alternate plan just in case, but my heart certainly isn't into it and I've just been determined that my mind over matter will win on this one. I can't read the books on birth because my body and head follow...I have beautiful birthing dreams and interrupt them in my subconscious to argue with myself b/c I don't know if I allow myself to be immersed in it if that will make the baby come sooner :( I want my beautiful birthing dreams...probably more than that, I need them.

So the last few days I've been on a journey of making peace and getting to the point where I can mentally "allow" the baby to come when the baby is ready. I've been shedding lots of tears...almost a grieving for the idea that Pete may not be here for the birth. He comes home 5 days after the due date after having been gone for 4.5 months. There is a great chance he'll make it for the birth, but there is also a chance he may not, and I have to be prepared for that too.

I grieve my husband not seeing my beautiful baby belly in all it's stretched roundness. I grieve that we both feel so disconnected...that he might never be able to rub the belly and talk to the baby...sing it songs, tell it how much he loves it, bond with Austin and talk about our new baby. I grieve that the baby won't have heard Pete's voice. I grieve that he won't be at the MotherBlessing and share in all the beauty and energy and magic. I want him so much to feel connected, I know he's feeling such a sense of loss...I want him to know that the baby will grow to know him even though he hasn't been here...

So, that's my big hurdle I was unaware was coming. I have such hopes of a peaceful, beautiful birth surrounded by my family. But I also need the baby to know that it's welcome whenever it needs to come. My midwives are amazing, Mom plans to be there, Dad and/or Pete will be helping with Austin to make sure he gets snacks and time on the swing, someone to get out his paints, someone loving and caring to be with, etc. It's so important to me that it's a family-oriented thing. The books I've been reading (though slowly) are so empowering and encouraging. I'm really looking forward to having this baby! But hopefully it will be within the baby's time plans to wait for Pete...but I'm slowly getting to a place that when the baby is ready to come, I'm ready to make that happen :)

So, there's my serious post :)

First mow of spring

Papa busted out the "real" mower this spring (we had a reel mower at our house for the past two years) and Austin was enthralled. He's been enamored with mowers all summer and dutifully helps mow our lawn too...but first he has to pull the ripcord on his mower and fill it up with gas...every 5 seconds ;)

Mmmm? Check me out Mom!

Can anyone guess how Uncle Jus wears his phone sometimes? :)

Conversations on the deck

Austin and Papa having a serious conversation on the deck. It's so fun to see how animated he (or they both for that matter ;D) become when they're together.

Help! Help!

Had to snap this shot before running to assist. Austin was trying to chase Duke into the pasture and got stuck...he he...

Below referenced 2 SF of dirt :)

...with the truck and trailer set Jus surprised Austin with. A set so versatile it can fit not only horses, but also helicopters with their blades folded, a variety of farm animals, and micromachines...at the same time ;)

Chillin' in the fort

While in Louisiana we had an awesome time playing with the kids. Austin dutifully found the 2 square feet of dirt on the 5 acre property, and Haley regaled us with horse shows in her room. One night Jus busted out his guitar and played Malaguena, which proved to be so much fun. We had the playsilks going and kids (and Nana and me) twirling and stomping and calling "Again, Again!"

Austin the tree-climber

While in MN Austin got to spend about 3 seconds climbing a tree (chasing sweet Lulu cat that Austin fell in love with) until he was "all done!" There was also some fabulous man-bonding time while there :) Ford dumped out some a pile of macaroni noodles and he and Austin worked dutifully moving piles from one side to the other of the carpet with diggers, dumpers and trailers :)

Quick preggo shots before Austin wakes up!

Quick before Austin wakes up from his nap I have to post some belly shots! Above is the last time my regular swimming suit fit around 8 months. Below, here we are in the airport with Austin sleepy on my back in a wrap and the baby 7 months along!
More to come too. Some friends are planning a Mother Blessing that will be at our house this Friday. I'm really looking forward to this!

And also to MN

We also went on a road trip with Nana to MN to visit the great grandparents, Mom's brother's and family, and were suprised when Jus and Tori and Haley showed up too! What fun! And Papa flew in...it sure was a great visit! Here Nana and Austin are stopped having a moment on the ice cream truck that we had to spend at least 15 minutes driving :)

Holy cow! So much to catch up!

Let's see...first a few Austin pics. Pete has been gone since the end of April working in Alaska and we're finally down to the last less than 3 weeks of a 4.5 mo absence. SO looking forward to seeing him! Here's a shot of our trip this summer with Nana to see Jus and Haley and Tori. It was awesome, and Austin is still talking about it, especially Uncle Jus's tractor :)